Wannabe Sprint Triathlon Athlete
fighting for me
“A part of me died when you didn’t fight for me. But all of me came alive when I had to fight for me”
The last few days, I have been scrolling through old photos on my phone looking for something, I have no idea what I was looking for but I knew that when I saw it I would know. And of course I finally found it this morning when I woke up at 4:25am on my day off. I found pictures of me completing my first sprint triathlon in Penticton in July 2016.
Looking back on the day I thought I was going to drown in the Penticton Lake, I realized doing this sprint triathlon was the first thing I did that made me feel alive again. I had no idea at the time but it was when I started fighting for me, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, reconnecting with my passions, and pursuing adventures I use to only day dream about. Now I am absolutely hooked and cannot imagine living any other way.
I truly had no idea what to expect by doing an open water sprint triathlon but I didn't think it would be that hard because I had swam in a pool a handful of times and I was in pretty good shape but man was I wrong. I almost drowned because the moment I put my face in the water, I realized I couldn't see anything and panic set in and I forgot how to breathe. I ended up swimming to a buoy, then to a kayak and then made it around to the shallow end where I could stand and rest if needed. I have no idea how much lake water I drank but it felt like a lot. The first hill for the cycling part was gruelling, the only reason why I didn't allow myself to get off my bike and walk up was because I saw an 80 year old man on his bike pushing his way up this hill. The rest of the ride was on rolling hills which made it easier, and the run was probably the easiest part with one small steep hill. Even though the swim was way slower than I expected it to be, I finished under my time goal of 2 hours, I finished in 1 hour and 51 minutes and 8 seconds.
It wasn't until I started to write this blog that I found an old blog post back in 2012 that stated my next challenge was a sprint triathlon. I set that goal after my first half marathon in Toronto. It looks like for the next 4 years, I lost myself. I was in two relationships that resulted me to lose who I was and my drive to do things for myself like half marathons and set goals like sprint triathlons. I put my partners first, myself second and because the relationships were not right, I spent a lot of my energy and time trying to make them right.
Don't get me wrong, I did accomplish other things, like almost getting a 6 pac which was my dream for years, hit my goal of being able to do pull ups, travelled within Canada & the United States, went sky diving and horseback riding, paid off my student loan, found a job that surrounded me with likeminded people, and had a fairytale wedding when I thought I would never get married. I lived a pretty good life.
I don't regret either of these relationships because I am where I am today because of them and as wrong as these partners were, I did get to experience a lot that I am grateful for. But when I look back on when I set my goal to do a half marathon or even move to Toronto just for fun/life experience it was when I was single and unattached. I have known for awhile that I can easily lose who I am when I start caring for someone deeply but I know now that I need to continue to remind myself that I cannot let that happen.
In order to prevent myself from losing myself, I developed this mindset that I could be independent for the rest of my life, I didn't need a partner, I didn't need no man in my life and I could still be super happy with life because I would be accomplishing all the things I wanted to do and when I wanted to do them. As I was telling myself that, I wasn't truly living up to that true independence because I was still waiting for someone to do things with me.
the morning i said
f*** it and never looked back.
But on July 29 2017, I woke up and just said f*** it, I am not going to wait anymore and I am going to do all these things with our without someone and off I went to do the sea to summit hike by myself which led me to do my solo Bali trip.
It's only been about 5 months into this journey of me taking my life into my own hands and having the confidence to step out of my comfort zone.
I haven't felt this alive or been this excited for the present moment and the future in a really long time. I cannot wait to see the limits I push in the next year.