finding mindfulness
“Life is short. we can live it lost in our own thoughts, or we can choose to be present, moment to moment, watching as life unfolds around us”
four months ago, i wrote in my private blog about how there are moments where i have lost all concept of time & when the concept of time seizes to exist; when one month feels like a week an a year; when days fly by like hours and minutes feel like seconds. when you close your eyes, breathe and realize you aren't dreaming this is your real life right now.
i find myself circling back to this concept after spending the day discussing life with one of my best friends and having another amazing weekend with my boyfriend.
there are those friends in your life that
no matter how much time has passed,
no matter how often or how little you talk,
no matter what has happened between the two of you,
no matter how long it's been since you last saw each other,
no matter what
you never seem to lose that one thing that brought the two of you together to begin with.
that one thing; has always been our similar perspective on life.
even as we each grow separately as individuals,
we always seem to grow in the same direction.
it had been over a year since we last hung out; you reached out to me because you wanted my opinion on something. as i dragged you to wait in a long ass line with me, you told me about your last year. even though we went our separate ways, it was very apparent that we went through a really similar transition and self-growth. you found more of yourself by doing things alone, left behind insecurities & fears about uncertainty, spent a lot of time reflecting, chasing the things that made you feel good and trying to remove the things that drained you.
you are now standing on the edge
and there is no looking back,
you are about to make that jump;
you have too.
so am i.
and so, do i.
“you cannot let uncertainty and fear hold you back. you will only grow from this experience and next adventure. there is nothing you cannot overcome and just remember no matter where you end up and no matter what happens (good or bad), you can always come home. and there is nothing wrong with coming home whenever you want. if you end up coming back, you will most likely start to appreciate life here more. who knows maybe you will love travelling and being free or maybe you wont. you won’t know until you try. I will always be your biggest supporter in all things, whatever you choose. ”
as much as the intention of the day was to help you work through your next chapter, our conversation sitting on the grassy hill on the seawall left me reflecting and thinking.
driving home from my boyfriend's house this morning, it hit me. all the pieces are slowly coming together. each and everyday i get closer. if i continue in this direction; my vision and my purpose will all come together.
i want to help people practice m i n d f u l n e s s.
“mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding onto it when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without feeling it will always be this way (which it won’t).”
m i n d f u l
being present
in the moment
live in the now
there is a huge movement towards meditation, where people are encouraged to meditate for "x minutes" per day but what about all the other minutes in the day when we are living life. it is challenging as hell to sit comfortably somewhere with your eyes closed and meditate,
it is even harder to be m i n d f u l with your eyes open and moving.
how do those x minutes of meditation a day help you in everyday life.
during those moments...
when you are stressed at work
when you are worried about a loved one
when you try to control the uncertainty of the future
when you obsess over the past
when you are overthinking a situation
when you feel overwhelmed
when your insecurities take over
when you deal with anxiety
when you are so concerned about others and forget about yourself
when you wonder if you are good enough
when you think about what you should have done or should do
when all you want to do is escape
when you use something/anything to distract yourself
when you want to give up
we live so much in our heads. the thoughts are never ending
but we all have the ability to lose the concept of time.
we just need to practice m i n d f u l n e s s.
a part of me knew i was practicing a level of m i n d f u l n e s s but it didn't hit me until today how much i have been and how much more i could be doing.
four months ago, i realized every single moment i spend with my boyfriend - i lose all concept of time; months, days, hours, minutes, seconds all feel the same.
couple months ago, i realized no matter what my boyfriend and i did, it was always a good time. we selflessly and selfishly took care of ourselves and each other; physically, intellectually emotionally and spiritually. we take turns, without speaking or asking we have the ability to identify which one of us needs it more in the moment and step up. we could both be struggling but one of us will always lift the other one up with no hesitation or resentment.
we live in our heads. i live in my head, he also lives in his head.
we both want whats best for each other.
my instinct is always to put him first
and he wants to put me first.
so when my boyfriend tells/asks me to be selfish, it was nearly impossible
until two months ago when i discovered
how to use m i n d f u l n e s s to overcome the thoughts
and let my body feel without any reservation.
this weekend, i realized that i am able to practice m i n d f u l n e s s around people who make me feel at ease. it makes time stand still, nothing else seems to matter, it becomes about what is happening right in front of me in that moment, not what had happened and or what will happen.
it's a peaceful place to be.
this morning, i realized it doesn't have to be restricted to only the moments with my boyfriend & friends and can happen whenever i decide to be m i n d f u l.
&
that m i n d f u l n e s s has the potential to change someone's whole world.
here,
is me jumping