menstrual self awareness
periods
the thing we should talk about more.
i think i have always had pretty good self awareness but i have to admit when i recently heard Jenna Kutcher’s podcast “No One Ever Told You This About Your Period” with Claire Baker i was MIND BLOWN, so mind blown that it INSPIRED me to share my story, what i learned about the menstrual cycle and how to use it to live your best life.
in this podcast Claire Baker talks about the female menstrual cycle;
how each part of the cycle affects us.
how you can optimize your life by getting to know your cycle better,
how we in society do not talk openly about it enough,
and how there is just simply not enough self awareness or general awareness around the topic.
let’s start with general awareness
as a female, i know you at least once in your life have felt or done the following:
hid a maxi-pad or tampon up your sleeve, down your pants because you didn’t want others to know you had your period.
felt that fear, self conscious that you will or might start leaking or bleeding everywhere and thought about how embarrassing it would be that everyone would know that you had your period.
worried and stressed about how you were going to tell someone you were dating you had to stop or changed plans so you wouldn’t have to say something because you had your period.
felt shame or uncomfortable talking about having your period.
i am not entirely sure why as female we grow up feeling one or all these things and more. all i know is that we should not feel this way especially because as females, we have absolutely NO CONTROL over it, we never know when it’s going to show up, how long it will be, or how it will affect us, all we know is it will most likely happen once a month, twelve times a year, for at least thirty to forty years.
so how do we change this?
we start talking about our periods openly without fear, shame and uncomfortableness. we encourage others to share their stories, struggles or even just walk to the bathroom without hiding a maxi-pad or tampon up your sleeve or down your pants.
let me start, here’s my story.
i got my period in grade 8, the morning before i was heading to PNE with my mom and some friends. i don’t remember much of that day but what i do remember is being 12 years old and in the bathroom with my mom and she was showing me how to secure a pad on my underwear. i remember how uncomfortable and awful it felt to wear a pad, i remember how i felt embarrassed that i got my period and how i didn’t want anyone to know.
But, like everything else, you get use to wearing a pad, you find out what works for you and what doesn’t. i was a gymnast and spandex was already my best friend, so i learned that wearing the tightest pair of spandex i owned would help make the pad feel more secure.
as i got older, i knew there had to be a better way. my mom did not believe in and does not like wearing tampons. i think it’s a asian culture thing that i clearly don’t understand. because i knew my mom would not approve, i had to experiment and teach myself how to use a tampon, it was a life changer, and the best decision i ever made. there was definitely some uncomfortable days of not using tampons correctly and fears it would go too far and get lost inside forever but once you get it, you just get it. there are days where i forget i even have my period.
life with a monthly period didn’t seem so daunting after that discovery, and it got even easier when i started taking a oral contractive pill. i started on the pill for two reasons; the obvious one and because i was getting really bad back pain during my period. i was on the pill for at least 6 years straight. life was fabulous, i knew down to the hour when i was going to get my period, you could miss a period if you wanted to, and the best part was no more back pain which also meant that my hormones never really fluctuated the way it does when you are not on the pill and of course the no stress about having a baby unexpectedly.
i decided to come off the pill when i swore off dating and boys, and when i started to pay attention to what i was putting into my body. i did not get my period for over a year. i went to a handful of doctors, gynos, naturopaths and no one could tell me why i wasn’t getting my period.
their solution: take progesterone or go back on the pill.
obviously, at this point i wanted nothing to do with any of that. i declined, until i realized i wasn’t getting anywhere so it was worth a shot. i tried the same pill i was on and it was terrible, i got moody, hot flashes, dizzy spells, light headed, and was extremely emotional. I could not handle it, so i tried the nuva ring, it was a bit better but it still did not make me feel good. at this point, not getting my period was better than feeling terrible all the time.
i than got diagnosed with PCOS from some doctors, and other doctors were adamant that i didn’t have it. no one could seem to agree on anything or give me an explanation. i eventually gave up and decided to just try to figure this out on my own.
it’s been a long six year journey and i am proud to say that i am now finally regular with no pill or any regular treatments, and no more frustrating doctor appointments.
here is what worked for me:
acupuncture; whenever i would tell my acupuncturist i was late or hadn’t gotten it in a while she would focus on the right points and i would get my period within days.
stress management & mental health; this included a lot of self development, self awareness work and mindset shifts.
supplements; i have tried so many different supplements that i can’t even remember what i have tried but when my naturopath and i found the right ones that treated the underlying cause and not the symptoms, everything changed.
i’ve told this story before, i’ve told it to females and males but i can tell you that every time i bring up my period or struggles with it to a male, i feel uncomfortable, i feel like i am oversharing and that i shouldn’t be talking about it. writing this is the first time that i do not feel any shame no matter who reads it.
as a female
we usually get our period once a month, twelve times a year for thirty to forty years just like how every single human takes a poop every single day (if you are lucky, not pooping for even one day sucks).
as a male
please try to understand, be empathetic and help us through this time instead of making us feel more shame and uncomfortableness than we already feel.
okay so if you have gotten this far, here is what i originally wanted to share with you.
mind blowing self awareness
so we know we get our periods every single month but have you ever checked in with yourself and thought about how you feel during each part of your cycle?
big picture and physically i knew when my boobs got sore, i was going to get my period within a week and half, when i felt drained for no reason, i knew i was getting it within the week but have you ever checked in with yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
in this podcast Claire talks about the menstrual cycle in four seasons; winter, spring, summer, autumn and how each week typically affects us. most importantly how you can use this self awareness to start living your best life.
here are some quick notes on how each part of your cycle might feel like? the duration of each will range for everyone and this is not the same for everyone which is why it’s so important to check in with yourself but i think most females can say this is relatable.
winter | week 1 “menstruating”
starts on day one of heavy blood flow
hormones are at the lowest
typically have lower energy
homebodies
time for self reflection
being intuitive
the body is “resetting”
time of feedback
grief may show up during this time
spring | week 2
hormones are coming back
higher energy
easy to love
productive & get shit done attitude
schedule or plan projects during this week
could feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, or anxious; if there is a conflict with sense of purpose.
unsure where all the energy should go
struggle with boundaries and clarity
summer | week 3 “ovulating “
hormones are at it’s peak
increase libido
may feel extremely extroverted
may want to be out in the world and be seen
not a time to plan, you will overcommit and regret it.
a time to celebrate yourself
enjoy this time
autumn | week 4
nurturing just in case the body is preparing for a potential pregnancy
cozy & natural
feeling a bit more reserved
being alone and setting boundaries
time to reflect on what worked, what didn’t work, what felt great, what didn’t feel great
this could manifest into self criticism
it can feel like you want to throw in the towel and give up
everything feels hard
so, can you relate? i definitely can when i consciously reflect back but when i don’t, i just feel what is in the moment and don’t realize that it’s part of the bigger picture. i often forget that what is happening in my body is out of my control but what i can control is how i check in with myself, and how aware i am about what is happening in my body.
the most reaffirming part of the podcast is when Claire talks about cycle amnesia, how we forget how we felt last month because we were so into our cycle. we forget even though we get this every month, twelve times a year.
now that i am more self aware about my menstrual cycle, hopefully the next time I am feeling a certain way, i won’t suffer from cycle amnesia. i can recognize how i am feeling, check in with myself and shift my focus on the things i can control, or simply just sit with that feeling and let it be.