Wannabe Olympic Triathlon Athlete
humbling
Completing my first olympic triathlon was one of the most humbling experiences. This was by far one of the most challenging things I have done in a really long time; both mentally and physically.
It reminded me what I loved about competing and gymnastics, that pre-event feeling; the butterflies, the adrenaline and the nervous excitement. You finally get to find out if all that time, commitment and work you put in would pay off.
The night before the race, I was behind schedule and went bed a little later than I wanted too. I wanted to pack all my stuff and have it ready to go. I finally went to bed at about 10pm, I got woken up by JJ at 2:39AM as she puked on my bed. I had every right to be mad or frustrated but I felt nothing but calmness, as I cleaned up the mess, pulled my bedsheets off my bed and threw them in the washing machine. JJ continued to be restless for the rest of the night and kept me up.
I had set my alarm for 4AM so I had enough time to do 30 minutes of yoga, shower, eat and get ready to go. With less than 5 hours of sleep, I snoozed until about 4:20AM, got on my mat for 15 minutes, showered, ate and loaded my bike into the car.
As I sat in the car, I felt the butterflies flying around in my tummy, into my chest and that was when I realized this is one of the things I miss most. We get to UBC, park and we head to bike check-in and my stomach drops because I realized I forgot to pack my wallet and we were suppose to bring ID. Thankfully they were not too strict.
As we were standing in line to get checked in, I was next in line, a guy comes rushing up in a hurry and turns to me and goes "do you mind, I only have 10 minutes", he skipped the line of about 15 people behind me. I knew I had time and wasn't in a rush so I said "sure" but people behind me were not too happy. They were yelling, and getting frustrated as we were all in the same heat. I looked at the group behind me and I said "it's okay, just let him, there is no reason to be upset". That moment, I realized how I have come such a long way and I have truly learned to cease to react to other people's actions. I was completely calm and rational, have I really found out how to control my mind and feelings?
I drop off my bike, and headed to the pool. Those butterflies and the nervousness had disappeared and I was ready to just get started. When I signed up, my swim time as around 39 minutes so I was in the first and slowest heat. After realizing that the swim cap did more than keep your hair dry, I dropped my swim time by about 5-6 minutes. I knew that I wanted to be at the front of the pack so I didn't get stuck behind anyone. They ordered us from fastest to slowest and I was about 6th in line.
I cannot remember the last time I dived into a pool but everyone before me had done it, so I figured I probably should too. The moment I hit the water and I took my first stroke, I completely panicked and I forgot how to breathe, I held my breath so when I went to breath I didn't have any room in my lungs. I struggled to find my rhythm for the first 150M. This was where the mental training had to kick in, and the self-talk. I couldn't even remember when or how I was suppose to breathe when I was swimming so the thoughts I kept telling myself was "stay calm", "you can do this", "just breathe", "stop panicking" and finally I found my grove. The rest of the swim felt amazing, I am pretty sure I finished somewhere between 31-33 minutes which is one of my best times.
The transition from swim to bike is always so challenging even with a quick dry towel. It is almost impossible to put on tight running pants on while still dripping wet and it's even harder to put on a sports bra when I struggle when I am dry. It was so nice to see Ashley as I exited the change tent, I had my game face and focus on so I didn't even wave or smile.
cold, wet & numb
It was a short 4 minute jog from the pool to the bike, I threw on my helmet and made a game time decision to leave my gloves. Bad choice. Here I come 40K bike, I had no idea what to expect as the most I had ever ridden was 28km. I knew I had to refuel so I had already prepared one protein ball in each pocket in a ziploc, With frozen hands it was impossible to open it with one hand so like a savage, I ripped it open with my teeth and chomped away on my ball. This was probably the most mentally challenging part of the race, my fingers and toes were so cold they hurt. Here came the self-talk again. "come on, push on, ride faster, get it done, its so cold, am I going to lose my toes, shit I can't feel my feet or toes, why am i doing this, will I even be able to run after this, oh god I still have to run 10k, oh fuck it's starting to rain".
My legs felt fine until the moment I got off my bike, I had felt the most excruciating pain ever in between my legs. It took every cell inside of me and all my strength to even walk, I tried my best to hide my pain because I was not going to let it stop me. I was not going to give up. This was where my mental strength took over and allowed me to continue. From my toes to half way up my shins, I couldn't feel anything because it was so numb from the cold and my inner thighs were completely seized up. I would try to run every few minutes but every time, the pain was unbearable. I probably walked the first 2k, everyone was passing me. I finally got some relief, pain was still there but it had subsided to the point where I could jog. I knew I just had to keep them moving and they would finally let up.
just move my legs
not happening...
As I was walking, I felt my bladder fill up and I knew this feeling all too well. I am going to have to pee soon, crossing my fingers that I would pass by a portable potty because there is no way I can run with a full bladder without peeing myself. Thank god, I passed one. Now it's game on, time to push myself as much as I could to finish this race. I had already told myself that I probably won't finished at my time goal of 3 hours and 15 minutes but I will settle for under 3 hours and 30 minutes. Because I was willing to settle, I didn't push myself as hard as I could, I didn't give it my all.
I finally reached the finish line, soaking wet, proud that I finished but disappointed that my body wasn't on the same page as my mind.
I had to know and I didn't want to wait so I asked them what my time was - 3 hours 15 minutes and 17 seconds.
When I heard my time, I felt the tears in my eyes, said thank you, smiled and walked away. Despite all the challenges, I met my time goal. This moment, this feeling is why I do this.
Despite how challenging this was; mentally and physically, I would do it again but in warmer weather. I want to get better, I want to learn from my mistakes, I want to feel that pre-race feeling again and that moment you realized you met your goal. I want to know that every moment I spent training and preparing was worth it.
my lessons
- I should probably ride the bike distance at least once before the race
- Don't make game time decisions aka put on the damn gloves
- Make smaller protein balls and use plastic wrap
- Quick dry towels don't work as good as you think
- Work on my swim to bike transition
- When someone touches your foot in the pool, it means "move over bitch".
- Work on the mental stress when starting a race, stay calm and don't let the rush overcome you.
- Do more inner thigh workouts
- Don't stop challenging myself, this is the kind of thing I live for
- Imagine what I can do if I followed a proper training program
- I got my ass kicked.
i am humbled. i am grateful. i am on my cloud.
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. That meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”